For all of you hardcore metal heads that can't get enough fluid from the bony protrusions of mammals I present to you: the Coffee Horn! Come Monday morning, you'll be ready for that mosh pit of zombies waddling around in front of the coffee maker! Here are some other things you can do to stay "metal" while at work:

1. Randomly headbutt a coworker(gender appropes though!)
2. Grow out a ratty mess of curly red hair(red hair rules!)
3. Drink mead all day long. Let HR sort out the details...
4. Start riding a horse/oxen.
5. Carry a broadsword/battleaxe.
6. Stage corporate raids with pillage and plunder in mind.
7. Eat more meat, preferably straight from the bone, and while riding aforementioned steed.
8. Grow an epic beard(ladies, you still have to do this)
9. Trade in your Prius for...ugh well anything else really.
10. Start mosh pits while in line at the bank.

Also, the inscription reads: COFFEE OR DEATH : )